Coming Out: Democrat in Disguise

I think I have fooled many of you suckers by this point. I figured I would make a blog, talking about the most ridiculous ideas I could dream up. What was a more lucrative and backwards idea than anarchy mixed with capitalism?

Anarchy, this moronic theory that people don’t need to be governed. HA! No way people actually believe this? Unfortunately, there are.

How? I don’t know. You’d think that more people have seen The Purge. That’s what you get with anarchy, losers, chaos. Then I thought maybe these people were just so evil that they actually wanted a purge type event. I think I’m on to something.

I figured, well what economic system has killed more people than any other one in history? Capitalism.

So I continued my covert mission to infiltrate the alt-right and people infatuated with unfettered freedom. It turns out, the alt-right isn’t so bad after all. They kinda embrace socialism, which is at least a step in the right direction. Their racism is nasty, but hey, at least they aren’t capitalists!

These “anarchists” on the other hand are dangerous. Not only do they want a world with no laws and absolute freedom, but they believe in capitalism. It’s just preposterous.

They want to have the freedom to murder anyone! Every single time I saw them conversing I just kept thinking of this totally original and funny joke I came up with:

Ayn Rand, Rand Paul, and Paul Ryan walk into a bar. Then they all die from their poisonous drinks because they unregulated all the markets. HA!

During my furtive mission, I think I realized what these people were really after.

They disguise their racist, sexist, misogynist, fascist, bigoted, homophobic, anti-semitic, xenophobic, Neo-Nazi, white supremacist, deplorable, velcro shoe wearing, fake news supporting, intolerant, hateful views behind the guise of a potentially even more ludicrous term, “anarcho-capitalism”.

I don’t think they actually believe it, but they are trying to trick people into a fascistic government which allows them to kill anyone they wish because they want to deregulate the entire economy!

Yes, these people have been conned into believing destroying Earth will somehow be beneficial to them. Sad!

After my super secret mission, I have concluded these people are the most dangerous and radical people on Earth.

They must be stopped.

They even make Donald Trump seem not so bad.

#StillWithHer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Happy April Fools!

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